Surprised I wrote a post before Saturday? Hahahh. Well I did. And I'm serious. :P So, since I completed a English test today and didn't have much to do, I might as well talk to you about how I've been feeling lately: Awkward, Uncomfortable and Shy.
I've been feeling awkward with my classmates and with the clothes I wore today. The worst thing is, I think it's my fault ._.
So, last week, my English teacher assigned a newspaper project that we had to create based on Brave New World, which was a book we just finished. Anyways, she was debating on whether she should choose the groups or we should. I was actually silently voting for our own choices just because I know that if I'm put with anyone other than my close friends or even my friends, it'll be quite awkward and lonely. Plus, I have the worst luck ever -.-' . Sooo, my teacher decided to do a compromise.....sorta. She let us put down the names of the people that we want to work with and those that we can't work with. It was strictly optional though. But you know what? Pretty much half the class did it and I'm pretty sure that the half that didn't do it, included all of my close friends and probably most of my friends. My friends and I actually talked about how RUDE it is to have these people in our class write down names of people that they "can't" work with. I was actually starting to suspect that atleast 1 person didn't want to work with me. Insecurity >.<
And last Friday she announced the group. I was stuck with NONE of my friends and with people that I rarely talk to. 4 best friends with one Melanie. Just think about that.....awkward. Also, I've heard people say and them themselves admit, that they're procrastinators soooo.....even though I myself do procrastinate, I wouldn't do it in a group. And so this entire week we've gotten about 2 hours to work on it and we only spoke about it for like 20 minutes -.- , while every other group has pretty much divided the work up and came up with ideas. Unlike us, we've only wrote down like 5 things -sigh- TOUGH LIFE.
(The worst part was that my assumption earlier, about someone not wanting to work with me, was possibly right because think about it: Out of half the class, I get picked. Plus, I get stuck with people who probably wrote each others names down because they wanted to work with one another. The even sadder part was that my teacher spoke about how she thought how picky and incredibly rude some people are because they wrote down like 10 people's names and the same names were appearing on the "not wanted" lists DD; )
Anyways, so, today I thought that I'd wear something different, which I do occasionally, depending on my mood like if I'm lazy or tired, I probably wouldn't. Anyways, so today I wore skinny jeans, a blue long sleeve shirt tucked into my jeans, a country-looking belt, a light, thin long-sleeve cardigan and the blue cheetah print scarf (This was my first time wearing it to school, since my purchase :P ).
So, ALLL you teens be thinking, "That's pretty casual, my homie". And my response is: No. No, it's not. Atleast not for me. I prefer jeans/track pants, a hoodie and a t-shirt :D . So, this was a change. I felt okay wearing it to school but kind of uncomfortable because of my scarf, which was probably the most fashionable part of my outfit.
The most awkward part was when a pretty friendly classmate said that she liked my scarf and was wondering where I got it from. I personally don't care much for the brands or stores (the only exception is probably running shoes, since I'm pretty athletic (; ) as long as I like it but I know that some people do. And so I muttered, "...ardene..". IT WAS SO AWKWARD because the class was pretty quiet at the time that I said Ardene so I thought that everyone had heard me. I think my face even turned a little pink ._. #Shygirls :P
However, to my SURPRISE, she didn't mind. She actually said that she has seen scarves in Ardene that were very nice and pretty. :DDDDD She is AMAZING! She kind of reminds me of my second-cousin Christine. I don't know either of them the best, but so far, I think that if they were to meet, they'd probably be best friends. You know because they're outgoing, love swimming, dancing, funny and pretty loud (:
So back to the point: I feel like it's always me who makes it awkward. So, my question for you is, is there some way that I can become a little more relaxed, create less awkward situations or just speak up a little more??? I seem to be worse at it the more I think about it :/ But on the other hand, the good news is that after my run last Sunday, I beat my time by 3 seconds! So, now I'm at 7.23 minutes :DD . And to all you runners who think that that is a small difference, FYI, I jogged 400m BEFORE I actually started running the 1600m and timed that. Soooo, I think it's pretty good. 2km !! WOOT. WOOT. :P I plan to run this Saturday and Sunday. Hopefully I beat my time -crosses fingers- and somewhat conquer my shyness :$. Take care.
Bloomed -> Blooming~
-Melanie
I've been feeling awkward with my classmates and with the clothes I wore today. The worst thing is, I think it's my fault ._.
So, last week, my English teacher assigned a newspaper project that we had to create based on Brave New World, which was a book we just finished. Anyways, she was debating on whether she should choose the groups or we should. I was actually silently voting for our own choices just because I know that if I'm put with anyone other than my close friends or even my friends, it'll be quite awkward and lonely. Plus, I have the worst luck ever -.-' . Sooo, my teacher decided to do a compromise.....sorta. She let us put down the names of the people that we want to work with and those that we can't work with. It was strictly optional though. But you know what? Pretty much half the class did it and I'm pretty sure that the half that didn't do it, included all of my close friends and probably most of my friends. My friends and I actually talked about how RUDE it is to have these people in our class write down names of people that they "can't" work with. I was actually starting to suspect that atleast 1 person didn't want to work with me. Insecurity >.<
And last Friday she announced the group. I was stuck with NONE of my friends and with people that I rarely talk to. 4 best friends with one Melanie. Just think about that.....awkward. Also, I've heard people say and them themselves admit, that they're procrastinators soooo.....even though I myself do procrastinate, I wouldn't do it in a group. And so this entire week we've gotten about 2 hours to work on it and we only spoke about it for like 20 minutes -.- , while every other group has pretty much divided the work up and came up with ideas. Unlike us, we've only wrote down like 5 things -sigh- TOUGH LIFE.
(The worst part was that my assumption earlier, about someone not wanting to work with me, was possibly right because think about it: Out of half the class, I get picked. Plus, I get stuck with people who probably wrote each others names down because they wanted to work with one another. The even sadder part was that my teacher spoke about how she thought how picky and incredibly rude some people are because they wrote down like 10 people's names and the same names were appearing on the "not wanted" lists DD; )
Anyways, so, today I thought that I'd wear something different, which I do occasionally, depending on my mood like if I'm lazy or tired, I probably wouldn't. Anyways, so today I wore skinny jeans, a blue long sleeve shirt tucked into my jeans, a country-looking belt, a light, thin long-sleeve cardigan and the blue cheetah print scarf (This was my first time wearing it to school, since my purchase :P ).
So, ALLL you teens be thinking, "That's pretty casual, my homie". And my response is: No. No, it's not. Atleast not for me. I prefer jeans/track pants, a hoodie and a t-shirt :D . So, this was a change. I felt okay wearing it to school but kind of uncomfortable because of my scarf, which was probably the most fashionable part of my outfit.
The most awkward part was when a pretty friendly classmate said that she liked my scarf and was wondering where I got it from. I personally don't care much for the brands or stores (the only exception is probably running shoes, since I'm pretty athletic (; ) as long as I like it but I know that some people do. And so I muttered, "...ardene..". IT WAS SO AWKWARD because the class was pretty quiet at the time that I said Ardene so I thought that everyone had heard me. I think my face even turned a little pink ._. #Shygirls :P
However, to my SURPRISE, she didn't mind. She actually said that she has seen scarves in Ardene that were very nice and pretty. :DDDDD She is AMAZING! She kind of reminds me of my second-cousin Christine. I don't know either of them the best, but so far, I think that if they were to meet, they'd probably be best friends. You know because they're outgoing, love swimming, dancing, funny and pretty loud (:
So back to the point: I feel like it's always me who makes it awkward. So, my question for you is, is there some way that I can become a little more relaxed, create less awkward situations or just speak up a little more??? I seem to be worse at it the more I think about it :/ But on the other hand, the good news is that after my run last Sunday, I beat my time by 3 seconds! So, now I'm at 7.23 minutes :DD . And to all you runners who think that that is a small difference, FYI, I jogged 400m BEFORE I actually started running the 1600m and timed that. Soooo, I think it's pretty good. 2km !! WOOT. WOOT. :P I plan to run this Saturday and Sunday. Hopefully I beat my time -crosses fingers- and somewhat conquer my shyness :$. Take care.
-Melanie
I get what you mean about the casual clothes thing...all the girls in our class wear dresses and short-shorts with tights and stuff to school and that's casual for them, but I'd feel so out of place if I did that. Also, I'd find it very hard to believe if anyone wrote your name down. You may not be super-creative, but you do your work, stick to your schedule and you're an easy person to work with.
ReplyDeleteOh,and I really wanted her to pick the groups because, like you, I'm always afraid that no one will want to work with me and I'm too shy to ask.
Anyway, congrats on beating your time! That's better than I can do WITHOUT jogging beforehand!
xDDDD You are very descriptive with your words. I feel like you know exactly how I feel :P - sounds sooo cheeeesy :x
DeleteThanks! I plan to run tmrw and Sunday as well. LEGGOOOO!
I can see into your mind, Melanie. I know what you're thinking. Always.
DeleteNah, I'm totally kidding!
Or am I?